It’s been WAY too long since my last actual blog entry…one where I actually delve into a specific subject or just fill you in on the latest happenings in my life. But a lot has happened this year that’s thrown my life off the tracks a little. Thankfully for Twitter and my live shows, I haven’t fallen completely off the map, so some of you that are reading this already know most of it. But for those of you that don’t follow me on Twitter or aren’t members of my site, here’s a little taste of what’s been going on in my life.
I feel the need to give a little back-story first because my upbringing and family life isn’t what most experience. I was raised by my paternal grandparents the majority of my life. Beginning at the age of 2 months old until I moved out on my own when I started college at 17, I only lived with my father part-time from ages 6-10 and full-time from ages 10-14. All the other years were spent with my grandparents full-time. Because of this my grandparents were my parents…always have been and always will be. They may not have biologically created me, but they were the ones who were always there and took the role of my parents. My grandmother passed away the day after Christmas in 2006. My life really changed at that point because my grandfather was never the same after that. They were absolute soul mates and in all my years of living with them, I never say them fight once. It tore my grandfather apart to lose her. I was always closest to my grandfather my entire life…he’s always been the most important person to me. It was very difficult to see a part of him disappear but he pulled through and life went on. I moved to Northern California a little over two years ago and it was a difficult decision to make at first because I didn’t want to move so far from my grandfather. In reality, it really isn’t that far…thankfully I’m only 400 miles away from LA and the flight is only a little over an hour. So I told him that when I had to come to town to work, I would stay at his place so we could see each other once a month.
On April 15th of this year I woke up to some really bad news…my grandfather had suffered a severe stroke and had been taken to the hospital. I immediately booked a flight down to LA and was there in a few hours. The stroke initially paralyzed him on his entire left side…his face all the way down to his foot. Within a day he wasn’t allowed anything by mouth anymore…not even water because he wasn’t able to swallow. And eventually he was completely paralyzed, couldn’t see and was non-responsive. In the three weeks that he held on, I was constantly back and forth from LA and my home in Northern California. Even once I drove 6 hours home and in less than 24 hrs had to fly back to LA because my grandfather had taken a turn for the worse. Those three weeks was a rollercoaster. Some days he’d be doing well and improving and then others he’d take a turn for the worse and they wouldn’t think he was going to make it. Whenever I saw him I tried to keep things positive and would joke around with him because I didn’t want him to see how sad I was…I knew it would upset him. There was so much that I wanted to say to him but just couldn’t bring myself to do so. The night before he died I arrived back in LA…when I saw him that night I said, “Grandpa, our agreement last week was you were going to be better by the time I came back to LA today!” His response was, “I’m trying.” And that’s the last thing he ever said to me.
I sat there with him that night until about 2am and didn’t want to leave by my cousin said we weren’t doing any good by just sleeping next to his bed. So we left and went back to my grandfather’s house. My cousin went to see my grandfather the next morning as I spent some time cancelling all my jobs and appointments that I had lined up in LA. I arrived by my grandfather’s side around noon and my cousin left to go pick up his mom. I sat there with my grandfather, just the two of us for about an hour and a half, telling him how much I loved him. He was barely holding on and wasn’t able to respond or move. I’ll spare the details, but his body wasn’t able to cope and his lungs were filling with fluid. His breathing sounded like a coffee pot percolating. I left the room when the nurses came to change his bedding and when I was out of the room he passed away. I must say that watching the most important person in my life fall apart over the course of three weeks and then die was the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. Nothing can prepare you for it and it’s absolutely heartbreaking.
To make an even longer story short, the way that some of my family members acted after his death was atrocious and hurtful. It’s amazing how people’s true colors come out during a time of death…especially when greed is involved. So to say that the entire process of dealing with his death has been extremely stressful would be an understatement. I had to go back to LA to clean out the house at the end of May and that was a very difficult and emotional process. And since then I’ve had the house up for sale but with the state of the housing market right now, who knows when it’ll sell. I’m hoping soon!
Then on July 23rd I received a message from my sister just after midnight that my father had been killed in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work. Some kid wasn’t paying attention and pulled his car out in front of my father when my father had the right away. He died at the scene of internal injuries. So I had to travel up to southern Washington state to attend his funeral last minute. I wasn’t looking forward to making the trip up there because I hate being up there…it harbors a lot of bad memories for me. But I went to the funeral and paid my respects. My father and I have never been close so I’ve had a lot of mixed emotions over the whole situation. I lost both my dad’s within less than three months. I’ve experienced enough death this year and I hope this time it doesn’t come in threes.
As you can tell, my life has been turned upside down a lot this year. Because of all the traveling and having to cancel work last minute on numerous occasions, my work life and personal life have both been one big game of playing catch-up. Lately I’ve been so slammed with work that I haven’t had any time for myself or really even any time to just get things done at home. So I decided to take time off from traveling to LA for work the rest of the year. It’s nice staying home for once. I do have a trip or two to NYC planned…one is a week for vacation the first week of December and the other is a possible work trip next month…and since both of our families are in LA we’ll be there for Christmas. But other than that I’m staying in Northern California. Hopefully now I’ll have more time to write blogs and post photos for you guys. 
xo
j
