My biggest fear is spiders…don’t ask me why.  I HATE them.  They freak me out and they never fail to make me jump at the site of them.  I’ve always been deathly afraid of them and I don’t really have a traumatic story as cause for my fear.  I’ve just always been terrified of them…even the ones that pose no harm to humans.

Of course it’s my luck that my new house is CRAWLING in them!  Well…I should technically say “was” because Terminix has been out three or four times in an attempt to get rid of them.  Hopefully there won’t be a problem with them anymore because I may not be able to retain my sanity if there continues to be a problem.  My new house sat vacant for almost a year and there is a field behind it.  So of course all kinds of creepy crawlies were able to take over undisturbed.  It’s a really nice house and only two years old so it’s not like it’s run down or drafty, etc.  It’s just that it was the perfect place for these bugs, insects and arachnids to make their home.

The first time I viewed the house my boyfriend calls me into one of the bathrooms to “see something.”  He’s quite evil.  In the toilet was possibly the largest spider I’ve ever seen outside of an aquarium.  And yes…it was alive.  Come to find out it’s called a Sun Spider and it’s quite beneficial because it eats tons of bugs.  But do I care?  NO.  And of course the garage and exterior were housing loads of Black Widows.  Luckily after the first treatment by Terminix most of the spiders and other various bugs were killed.  I had the wonderful job of cleaning all their dead, shriveled bodies up.  Yay for me.  There were still a few spiders roaming around but luckily they’re pretty much gone now.

It doesn’t stop at spiders and your usual bugs and insects.  The other day we were working on some landscaping and I go to throw something away and I almost step on a snake in the driveway!  I jumped back because I wasn’t sure what kind it was.  It was small and last thing I needed as to be bitten by a baby rattlesnake.  But I checked the tail and it wasn’t a rattler so all was safe.  I called my boyfriend over and we watched it cruise around for a while.  Funny thing is I’m not afraid of snakes at all…I just don’t like the way that they feel so I don’t like touching them.  I’ve held a few but it’s just not my thing.  I’m just cautious around them in the wild because I’m not familiar with which are poisonous and which are not.  I used to work at a gun range in the canyon and we had tons of rattlesnakes around which has caused me to be extremely cautious around them.

So going back to the spider nonsense…it just makes me laugh that I’m moving into this amazing new home and it contains my BIGGEST fear!  Home is not a place you want to feel fearful…it’s a place that you want to relax in and enjoy.  Luckily it’s something that can be controlled by pest control so I’m sure that all will be fine on the homefront from here on out.  I will always hate spiders and be deathly afraid of them but I guess there are worse things to be scared of.

xo

j

Toronto was AMAZING! I love that city…though just like Chicago I have fallen in love with it yet haven’t gotten the chance to explore it because I was in and out…only there for a little over 24 hrs. My flight there was alright…it was a redeye and I got a bit of sleep.

I stayed at the Sheraton Centre and the best part about that was there was a HUGE fireworks show right outside my window! Right next to the Sheraton Centre, which is downtown, there is an ice skating rink outside…one of the most beautiful ones I’ve actually seen because they have a canopy of lights over it. I was told by a guy at the front desk that every Saturday night until New Year’s they do this big event there where they light up the huge Xmas tree, a big local band plays on this big stage, and they do a killer fireworks show. And since I was on the 21st floor I got the best view of the show! And it went on forever!!! It totally made my weekend!

Then my flight on Sunday was horrid! I flew from Toronto to Philadelphia, which was perfectly fine. The best part was that it was snowing when I left and we were on a really tiny plane so we had to walk out on the runway to board up the attached steps. So I got to stand in the snow while waiting to board the plane, which I loved every moment of! I think that’s the first time I’ve been standing in actual falling snow since I lived in Washington in 1994…everytime I’ve gone up to the snow to go snowboarding it’s never actually been snowing. It was a short flight…like flying from LA to Vegas…so that was good. I had a 2 1/2 hour layover so I ate and worked on some photos.

Then I got on my plane to LA which little did I know would I be on for over 7 HOURS!!! We were flying into a headwind the entire time which prevented us from going over 130 mph…so not only were we running late, but it depleted our fuel reserves so we had to stop in Vegas to re-fuel. Before this even happened I was feeling like it was the longest flight EVER!!! So to make it worse here we were landing in Vegas at about the time we were supposed to be landing in LA. We had to sit on the plane while they re-fueled which lasted a while…wasn’t as quick as I thought it would be. Then we finally took off and landed in LA. Luckily I was in the fifth row so I got the hell off the plane asap. And luck was on my side once again because my bag was one of the first ones to come out and the shuttle to my car arrived right as I got to the curb.

Didn’t get home until 10pm and I came home to my dog being sick. And I’m sick again too. And I have more traveling this week. See…my life isn’t all the glamorous! But at least I’m enjoying myself at my destinations and this week will be a ton of fun because tomorrow I’m going to see Tori Amos live in San Diego with Aria and Thursday I fly up to the bay area to shoot and to hang out with my best friend for her birthday! She still doesn’t know I’m coming…I can’t wait to surprise her!

So I’m going to have my laptop with me and hopefully I won’t be too much of a stranger! I’m going to try to post as much as I can right now because I have to go to the walk in clinic today for my throat and also go over to my grandfather’s to decorate the tree…he wants me to do it before I leave out of town. So I have a busy week ahead of me…

Love you guys!

xo
j

I’ve been shooting a lot lately and in between doing a huge “fall” cleaning! Sometimes I just get into the cleaning mode…and when it hits, watch out! I’m like a non-stop cleaning/organizing machine! A few weeks ago I helped my Grandfather clean out his kitchen…he doesn’t really cook much and my Grandmother had SO MUCH kitchen crap, so I went through everything and left behind what he needed, took what I could use/wanted, and then brought the rest to my house to keep in my garage until I have a big yard sale. Well…last weekend I decided to start on my own garage. I went out and went through all the boxes I have in there. I brought what needed or could come into the house and be put away, threw some stuff out, put other stuff into the yard sale pile, and packed up what needed to stay in the garage. Now instead of about a dozen boxes in the garage, I only have about three! It feels so good to clean and get organized…probably because I’m a bit obsessive compulsive, but what can you do! I still have a few things to go through and organize in the office, but it’s much more orderly now. And I even went through all my wardrobe and got rid of stuff that I won’t be needing as well as pairing up tops and panties and organizing my wardrobe dresser! It’s been a productive “fall” cleanup!

The past few days I spent working on a photography workshop. It was a great experience, tons of fun, I met some great people, but it was tiring and a lot of ours. Myself, along with a Playboy Cyber Girl named Cidney Carson, were models for a two day photography workshop held by Mark Daughn, photographer for Mystique Magazine. (Speaking of Mystique, while I was going through stuff in the garage, I found a Mystique package that I never opened up…there was a letter from them expressing interest in shooting me! And all this time I thought they didn’t want to work with me…boy am I dumb!) Anyways, I haven’t been able to get on the site these past few days because I haven’t been around a computer. The workshop was all day Tuesday and all day Wednesday…it wasn’t close to my house so I was driving in a lot of traffic…and we went to dinner in Hollywood Tuesday night so I barely had any time to myself. But it was fun and I enjoyed it…even though it was a lot of work!

I have today off and maybe tomorrow…I’m still talking to someone about shooting tomorrow but it’s not 100%. But today I have friends from out of town staying at my house so I’ll be preoccupied even if I’m not working. Then I have Saturday off and Sunday is the big day…my 26th birthday! Still not sure what I’ll be up to because one of my close friends has planned a surprise excursion. Monday I have a lunch meeting with my Mobile Content distributor and then a birthday dinner with my Grandfather. Busy, busy, busy…but what else is new?

See you guys soon!

xo
j

I’ve been meaning to write a diary entry for quite some time but I just get so caught up with work and everything these days! Whew! Anyways…I’ve been good and busy, so I can’t really complain, right?

I’ve been doing all sorts of things since I last wrote. In August, my best friend got married up in Portland, Oregon and I was a bridesmaid so I spent 5 days up there helping out and organizing the bachelorette party (which was a lot of fun, I might add!). I had so much fun, but in a way it made me a little sad. Life changes so much! Some friends are getting married, others are having kids…a lot move away or get so busy that they find it hard to stay in touch (which I’m guilty of). Even my family life is changing drastically…my grandmother passed away almost 9 months ago and now two of my three uncles are both going through divorces with wives they’ve been with for over 20 years. Life can change drastically in such a short period of time. Although I’m nowhere near being called “old,” I still do feel myself getting “older.” But on the happy side of things, my best friend is thrilled to be a newlywed and she had the most amazing wedding I’ve ever been to. It was absolutely beautiful! You can see a few photos in my candid section if you haven’t seen them already. And the most important thing is that she’s really happy with where her life is right now…which is what makes me the happiest about as well.

I also went camping for the last time with my grandfather last month. He unfortunately decided that he’s done camping now that my grandmother is not here to go with him, so he sold his camping trailer last week. Makes me a little sad, but I told him that if that’s what he wants to do, then it’s his decision to make, not mine. He’s going to give me their huge two room tent and all the camping gear so that I can go camping still if I want to. I actually might do it because my uncle has to sell his trailer as well, due to his divorce, so he might be having to tent it as well! So we’ll see how that works out!

In between all that, I did a few shoots (one for Danni.com and another for Suze.net with Aria which will be showing up here on the site in the future) and I also did another guest bartending appearance at Sharkeez in Newport Beach with Aria. Lots of fun to be had for sure! This time around I was rather drunk, as you’ll be seeing in the candid photos from this night coming soon to the site, and I think I had a little too much fun! The next morning wasn’t cool though. Aria and I spent the night at her brother’s place in Orange County, and when we went out to our cars the next morning, one of my tires were flat. So on top or being tired and hungover, I had to deal with a flat. Fortunately it was resolved, but my day was longer than expected! See…even models have car trouble!

The week after camping I shot Brandy Robbins for two days for PinupGlam.com. This was the first time that the owner of the site left me completely in charge all day. He’s usually there as the primary photographer and myself and someone else are the secondary photographers…but this time he has a few meetings so I was the primary photographer for two days! I was a bit stressed out, but he said that everything turned out great! I’ll have to let you know what sets I shot when he posts them to his site!

Then I was off to Glamourcon for two days! That was a tiring and stressful trip! I flew into Chicago the Friday night before the show and because of the storms the day before, power was out and there was NO air conditioning! And let me tell you, it was HUMID! The next morning I got up and went to the show…and there still wasn’t any air conditioning. With all the people in the ballroom, it became a sauna pretty quickly! It was on the verge of being unbearable, but thankfully I had members Iceking and Buster to keep me company! It was great meeting new and old fans, and meeting other models as well. Saturday after the show I did a group photography workshop as well as a private photography workshop. Wasn’t done until about 11pm! Then the next morning I did another private photography workshop and the show all day. And then I flew back to LA that night! Quite a lot of work done in such a short amount of time…but all of it was worth it and I had a blast!

After getting home from Glamourcon I shot for Penthouse.com and did a live chat with Jamie Lynn for them. It was a ton of fun working with Jamie again! I hadn’t seen her in such a long time because she was under contact with Penthouse for over a year…but now she’s back working for other companies. She’s a great girl and so nice to be around. I want to shoot soon with her for the site so hopefully I can make that happen! Then I took some MUCH NEEDED time off from shooting. As easy as it may look, it’s very draining, especially when you’re traveling. So I took almost two weeks off from shooting and just spent time working on the site and getting other things in my life taken care of.

I’m still doing voice over for Spice Xcess commercials over at Playboy and I’m still interviewing the Treats of the Month for Twistys.com. And still shooting for other companies and for the site here. In my personal life I’ve been helping my grandfather clean out some things around his house. Last week I went over and went through the entire kitchen. He doesn’t cook very much so we’re going to have a yard sale and get rid of everything he won’t be needing…and I got to take a few things that I didn’t already have that will come in useful (like my grandmother’s crockpot and things of that nature). And I also painted the last big room in my house last weekend! And the best part about it is that I shot a photoset and video of me painting it! It won’t be up on the site for a while, but I know you’re going to love it! It’s a great set!

And I believe that’s about it. I did go to the spa with Aria and Crystal, but I’ll save that for another diary entry in the next couple weeks because my fingers are about to fall off from typing so much!

xo
j

First off…I must say that the Sonic Youth show on Friday night was amazing. I saw them last year when they opened for Pearl Jam but this show was definitely better than last year’s. For two reasons really…first, they played a much longer set since they were headlining and secondly, it was at the Greek Theater where any show is a good show as long as you’re sitting in the front half of the theater. This was a special show as well…they played only one entire album…Daydream Nation. They recently re-released the 1988 album fully remastered along with live tracks and rarities and they only played the entire album at a few tour dates…Friday’s LA show being one of them. It was great…and they even played a few of their new songs in the encore. As a side note, I saw Heath Ledger there.

Saturday was pretty mellow for me…did a special chat for site member Iceking’s birthday…shower show which everyone present seemed to enjoy. After that I just took care of some house tasks…cleaning, laundry, and the like. Watched a couple movies this weekend…The Hitcher and The Messengers…been on the horror kick lately. Really like The Hitcher…and makes me not want to pick up hitchhikers even more so. The Messengers was alright…but it reminded me a little too much of other movies…and went too far along the same plot line as Cold Creek Manor. But it was still enjoyable.

Yesterday I took my dog to the dog beach with a friend of mine. It was pretty cold and even though I saw gray clouds rolling in I never thought it would actually rain last night and today. Currently it’s been raining outside…pretty strange for July…especially with the extremely warm weather we’ve been having this year. But it’s the weather after all, which never ceases to be unpredictable.

My family (dad, stepmom, sister, and brother) arrived into town on Saturday. They’re staying at my uncle’s house for a couple weeks for vacation. I’m leaving in a bit to take my brother and sister out for the day…it’s my brother’s 20th birthday today. So I believe we’re going to the Guitar Center and then possibly out to see a movie. We’ll see what the day brings…

Talk soon…

xo
j

So I’m thinking that this post will mark a change in how I go about my diary entries. I don’t nearly write enough in here because I always end up writing huge long accounts of everything…and adding a lot of pictures, etc…which takes a bit of time. So after thinking about it a bit, I decided to just approach this more like a journal and try to write at least a few times a week, if not everyday. Let’s see how this goes…

Lately I’ve been swamped with wedding plans and work. To those of you unaware, my best friend is getting married two weeks from tomorrow and I’m a bridesmaid. So not only do I have to worry about my own bridesmaid stuff, but I’m in charge of all the other bridesmaids, I had to handle the hair/makeup plans, find shoes for everyone, and I’ve been helping my friend quite a bit with her own wedding attire. She lives in the San Jose area, is getting married in Portland, Oregon, but bought her dress down here in Orange County. So she’s been having to fly down here every now and then to get fitted for alterations and everything…I’ve been housing her at my place and driving her around when she’s in town. She flies back into LA on Tuesday for her last fitting to take her dress up to Portland. The good news through all of this is that the “three sizes too big” bridesmaid dress that I had to buy due to my huge 34E boobs is actually going to work and cover the twins!!! I took it on Tuesday to a bridal shop near my house that is going to alter it and it’s fully going to cover and is only going to cost $100! I was really worried about how much they were going to charge me…luckily it was less than I thought it would be!

Yesterday I worked with Cassia Riley over at Danni.com. We had a ton of fun and we hadn’t seen each other since January, so it was nice to hang out and work together. We talk frequently, but I hadn’t physically seen her since then. We had a ton of fun during the Live In Bed show as well as the Live Strip…which I’m sure those of you that were there can vouch for! I shot a Virtual Lap Dance, some naked jokes, a girl/girl photoset/vid with Cassia, and another video for them. So I’m sure that all of you who have Danni.com memberships will be happy with the future Jelena content!

In about an hour and a half I have voice over work at Playboy and then just a few things around the house to take care of after that. Tonight I’m going with a good friend to go see Sonic Youth play at the Greek Theater…it’s going to be a lot of fun. I saw them last summer open for Pearl Jam and I haven’t been to the Greek since high school when I saw Tori Amos play. The Greek is a great venue to see bands live…the only thing that really sucks about the Greek is getting in and out of it with the parking situation.

That’s it for now…talk soon…

xo
j

I know, I know, I know…I’m the WORST when it comes to keeping on top of my diary entries! Sorry…can’t help it! Here I am sitting at my computer this very moment having a beer as I write this…

Anyways…at least I’m here now, right? Those of you that frequent the message board on a regular basis and especially those who attend my webchats pretty much already know what I’ve been up to…probably more so than I do! But those of you that don’t, need to be kept in the know. So here goes…

Lately I’ve been working on content for the site…I’m currently almost two years ahead and am trying to get at least 5 years ahead so that I can possibly go back to school to get my Master’s Degree. In what, I’m still not decided on…hopefully I’ll figure it out soon. It’s so hard to decide what to do with the rest of your life…especially just out of high school. How was I supposed to know what I truly wanted to do. I went to film school and now I don’t really want to work in the film business anymore…so I have a few big decisions to make. I’m tossing around Chemisty and Business…maybe even becoming a Vet…we’ll see. I’m casually doing research on schools and fields…haven’t really started to look deep into it just yet.

I’m currently the Model of the Month over at Modfx Models which features a ton of exclusive content of me that you can’t see anyplace else…you can check out the site by clicking on this photo…

I’m also featured on Aziani.com…I also shot a ton of exclusive content with them last month…you can check the content out by visiting Aziani.com…

And today I shot for Danni.com for the first time in over a year! And next month I’ll be doing another In Bed at Danni’s…I’ll let you know the date when it gets closer.

I’ve also been doing voice over work over at Playboy TV…mostly for their Spice Xcess commercial promo spots. So if you get that channel and you think you’re hearing my voice, chances are you probably are! I love doing voice over work and the sound guys think I’m great…so who knows, maybe I’ll get a voice agent and do a bit more work…we’ll see.

I went camping last weekend with my family…it was a great, relaxing weekend that was much needed on my part. But it is good to be home because after a few days in a trailer one just wants to sleep in their own comfortable bed!

Other than all that, not much else has been going on…

Talk soon…

xoxo
Jelena

So the past week was pretty damn crazy. It seems like when it comes to work, when it rains it pours! From January 23-29 I shot all but one day. On January 23rd I shot a scene with Jana Cova, Sofia Santi and Shay Laren for a new Jana Cova movie at Digital Playground. The next day I shot with Penthouse Pet Melissa Jacobs for FM Concepts. We shot a few bondage and foot fetish scenes. She’s a great girl and I really like her…definitely a real sweetheart. I met her once before on set but this was the first time that I had ever actually shot with her. I hope to work with her again in the near future. You can check her out at

On the 25th I shot with Red Ezra…Jaime Hammer was supposed to shoot with me but she got a really bad migraine and couldn’t make it. I was a bit bummed out but I love shooting content with Red so I shot anyways. We shot three sets that I’m sure you’re going to just LOVE! On Friday the 26th I shot for Playboy TV again…they’re working on a new comedy TV show. This was the second appearance I’ve made on it and it’s so much fun to work on. A lot of the same people from “Totally Busted” are on the cast and crew of this new show. And on Saturday I shot content with Marquis Models that will be appearing here on the site as well. I’m trying to get as far ahead as I can on content so I’ve been shooting a TON!

Saturday night I went out with my best friend of 12 years. She’s a pharmacist in the San Francisco area and I don’t get to see her that often but right now she’s here in LA for some drug study program for three weeks. Most of her week is full so we went out on Saturday night in Hollywood for a few drinks. She spent the night and we went out for sushi at my favorite sushi restaurant on Sunday (which was my only day off). After dropping her back off at her hotel, I went and bought new lights for shooting video. Cost a fortune, but they’ll be worth it! I kicked back the rest of the day and enjoyed the time off. Started watching “Munich” but I fell asleep…still have to watch the rest of it.

Monday I shot for Digital Playground again for a new Sofia Santi movie with Sofia and Shay again. It was a really hot scene which all of you should check out when it comes out. I love working with Sofia…she actually stole my girl/girl photo virginity along with Aria…they corrupted me! I know that some don’t like her tattoos, but I think she’s one of the hottest girls around. And she’s definitely one of the nicest as well…personality really does go a long way. The shoot was only supposed to take a few hours, but I ended up getting stuck on set for 6 hours and then had to drive home in traffic. So I missed the chat that I was planning on holding. I rescheduled the chat for Tuesday, but the chat network was having difficulties. Luckily I have joebloggs on the site and he found a way around the problem temporarily. Hopefully Misha gets it sorted asap.

My house is finally coming along…at a steady crawl. I still have to stain and install all the baseboards and door casings, but once those are finished then most of the bedrooms will be finished. Which means that my office is almost complete! all that’s left in the office is to install the baseboards and casings, get my closet shelves and drawers installed, and get new wooden blinds for the window. I can’t wait! I feel like it’s never going to be done…

Yesterday I went to dinner with my grandfather. He’s rather lonely and takes up every chance he can get to see me. He’s been talking about moving in with me but I don’t know if I could handle that. I’m entertaining the thought of building a guest house in the back for him but he’s a bit skeptical of it. We’ll see what happens. I worry about him but he actually seems to be doing fine. He’s been walking a lot and visiting friends…just trying to keep busy and active. He wanted me to go camping with him in a couple weeks but I’m working the Saturday that his camping club is going. So I think I might go with him in March and every month after that if I can swing it. Camping is alright…not my most favorite thing to do. But I know that he enjoys it so I go because it makes him happy. Plus, I always take my dog and he loves being out and about and playing with his dog cousins (my aunt and uncle always bring their two dogs).

And that’s about it. Today I’m just getting some stuff done around the house, prepping content for the site, going to go to Yoga this afternoon, and I might go buy a couch for my office. I’ll have to see what all I have time for. Talk to you soon…

xo
j

Well, as most of you know, my grandmother passed away two days after Christmas. The past four weeks have probably been the most difficult of my entire life. Some of you may be unaware of the fact that my grandparents raised me all but four years of my life, so it’s pretty much like losing my mother. I’ve never lived with my biological mother (didn’t really know her until I was 14), and ages 10 through 14 I lived with my Dad and Stepmom in Washington…which I hated and finally was able to move back to LA with my grandparents. They’ve always been the closest to me in my family and I love them more than anything. I even went to college in Orange County and bought my house here in LA so that I could always be no more than 30 minutes away from them. And the inevitable finally happened, though I don’t think it’s fully set in yet. I won’t go into details but she died at home and went quickly.

The hardest part of it all is having to see my grandfather suffer. I’ve never known two people to be so in love. They both never married anyone else and just celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary three weeks before her death. In all my years I have never seen them fight once. They respected each other immensely and were definite soulmates. My grandfather doesn’t know what to do with himself. They were both retired so they spent all day everyday with each other…and now he’s all alone in their house day after day. I try to go over and spend time with him as much as I can but I can’t stop my life all together…I have work, my dog, and my house to take care of. He’s also been coming over to my house once a week for dinner, which is great because it gives him a chance to get out of the house. Tomorrow night he’s coming over for dinner and I believe that he’s also going to spend the night. Luckily I have a guest room for him to do so. But it’s really hard to see him in so much pain. I have only seen my grandfather cry twice in my life…and now it seems like that’s all he does. As much as the family misses her, it’s so much more difficult for my grandfather because he was closer to her than any of us could ever be.

Everyone asks me how I’ve been doing and if I’ve been taking my own time out to grieve. I have in a way, but as I said before, I don’t think it’s really hit me to the full extent. I just keep thinking about all the things she’ll never get to experience with me. If I ever get married or have children, she’ll never be there for that. So many recipes are gone forever because she never wrote them down…things I’ve eaten my entire life that she would make for me when I would come home for dinner I’ll never get to taste again. She will never see my house when it’s finished…on Christmas eve she couldn’t even make it halfway down the hallway to see the new hardwood flooring. Everyone tells me to not reflect on what is lost but to instead reflect on the fond memories that I have of her. Don’t get me wrong, I do that as well. But I feel that it’s only human to still think of these things that will never happen…I just can’t help it.

My grandparents had four boys and when I was born their youngest was a senior in high school. He’s more like a brother to me than an uncle because I’ve grown up with him moreso than the others. Their oldest I’m not close to, my dad is obviously my dad but lives out of state, and the second youngest was in the army all of my life…he went in about a year before I was born, put in his 20 years and retired in 2000, and he now lives on the east coast so I’m not close to him either. So since my youngest uncle and I are so close and we’re around my grandparents more often than anyone else in the family, we were pretty much handed the responsibility of organizing the memorial service and everything. And I pretty much ended up doing everything. I had to go with my grandfather to handle all the cremation services, I’m the one who found the chapel, my uncle and I met with the staff to organize the service with the flowers, programs, cards, etc, and I had to scan all the photos, print photos and whatnot for the little video memorial and two big posterboard collages we had at the service. It’s a bit stressful to have to take on everything when you’ve never had to do something like this before. And there is so little time to accomplish it in. Nevertheless…everything went as planned.

The five of us (my dad, three uncles, and myself) all gave eulogies. I was the only grandchild to speak but that’s pretty much because I was more her daughter than granddaughter. It was really hard to get up there. The pastor suggested we go in order of age so I was the last one to speak. Since I was so busy with all the preparations, I didn’t get a chance to plan or write out a speech, so I pretty much winged it. I spoke about how I had a pretty unique relationship with my grandmother since she raised me and how I spent so much time one on one with her because I was an only child at their house. I spoke of how she was such a giving and caring person who valued her family…she was never selfish. She taught me so many things…the most notable being her way with money. I wouldn’t have a house if it wasn’t for her lessons of saving my money and not blowing it on things I don’t really need. I also spoke about how she taught me so much about my heritage…all her stories of living in WWII Germany as a small child, our five week trip to Germany together in ’97, and how it saddens me that her younger grandchildren will never get to hear those stories. I also spoke about how she was always there for every major event in my life…she always went dress shopping with me for high school dances and would take me to get my hair done the day of the dance…she would let me drive all the time before I even had my license and the first time I ever drove on the freeway was with her…she was there for my high school and college graduations.

I’ve been so upset since the service because I forget to tell the one story I really wanted to share. So I’ll share it with all of you. A memory that always enters my mind…even when she was still alive…is of the day that I moved out and left for college. The night before a friend of mine and I loaded up our cars with all of my stuff to take in the morning to my dorm. My grandparents weren’t going with me to orientation…I guess they figured I should get used to doing things on my own. So I got up early in the morning, showered, got dressed, and then got in my packed-to-the-brim Jeep to begin my adult life (though I was still only 17). My grandparents were standing on the back porch, I was sitting in my Jeep in the driveway, and we said our goodbyes. My grandfather went back in the house but my grandmother remained on the porch waving as I backed out of the driveway. I’ll never forget her standing there waving at me with a smile on her face. I cried the whole way to Orange County.

I love her so much and I’ll miss her even more. But I’m thankful that my grandmother was able to share so much with me the past 25 years. She truly was the most amazing woman I’ve ever known…

xo
j

Jeez it’s been quite some time since my last entry. So much has happened since I last wrote…this is going to take some time to catch up. But I can’t really do much right now while the flooring installers are here installing my new hardwood floors FINALLY! All three bedrooms, den, and hallway are completely empty right now…which means that my office is empty (no computer set up and I don’t have all programs installed on my laptop yet so I can’t do much work…can’t even update today’s photoset…

Anyways…let’s do some catching up. Didn’t really do anything for my birthday. My uncle and aunt were moving into their new house the day of my birthday so I went over there to hang out with my family and to help out. It was the least I could do after my uncle helped with a lot of stuff in my house back in July. I wanted to have a party with my friends or something, but I just never got around to it. I think I might just have a belated birthday/housewarming party once more things get taken care of. I’m getting closer and closer to getting the house situated…can’t wait to unpack everything!

Crystal Klein’s birthday was at the end of October. Ginger Jolie, who’s a really good friend of Crystal’s, threw her a birthday party. Shay LaRen and I were the only models who attended, so listing everyone’s names is unnecessary. Anyways, we went to a Sushi/Japanese restaurant to start off the night. Ginger made up these little goody bags for everyone…though if you didn’t know it was Crystal’s birthday, you’d think that it was a bachelorette party…because Ginger bought a bunch of stuff from the Pleasure Chest, which is an adult store in West Hollywood. Anyways, we had penis straws, penis candy, and the guys had those little laser light pointers that have dirty sayings instead of just a red dot…one said “I Swallow” and the other one said “I Love Pussy.” I only mention these because they came into play later that night. So after dinner we went to this really exclusive club called Hyde, where they won’t even let you valet if you’re not on the list. Since it’s so high profile and exclusive, celebrities are always hanging out there. At the table next to us was that guy, Taylor Hicks, who won American Idol a while back. Lindsey Lohan was at the table across from us. And Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst were there as well. A few of us went outside to smoke (though I wasn’t smoking…I just went to keep company) and we were next to Orlando and Kirsten. One of Crystal’s friends pointed the “I Swallow” laser on Kirsten’s date’s shirt. Orlando and Kirsten came over and wanted to see the pointer…Kirsten played with it a bit. That was the extent of our interaction with them. Then once inside someone was shining the “I Love Pussy” laser on Lindsey and she got pissed and left…it was hilarious! And that was all that happened at Crystal’s party.

Then the weekend before Halloween I went to a good friend’s Halloween party. I dressed up as a ’50′s housewife…had a lot of fun. The actual day of Halloween was pretty uneventful…I didn’t really do much, just stayed at home with my dog and handed out candy. Can’t tell you how many people were too scared to come up to the door with my dog inside barking…it was hilarious!

On November 1st I went to New York City for the first time. I went to visit Aria Giovanni for her birthday, which was on the 3rd. For those of you not aware, Aria bought an apartment there back in early October and now lives in NYC. I had a ball…a few of our other friends were there at the same time and we just went out to dinner and went dancing a lot. Aria took me to Penn Station and Times Square…I rode the subway and numerous taxis, and we even went to Central Park and took a carriage ride together…cheesy, I know! My first night there I went out with a friend of ours and we hung out with Mickey Rourke all night. Really nice guy…seriously not full of himself or anything. I left NYC on the 5th and flew straight to Miami for a job there. Nothing exciting or interesting to tell about that trip because I was just in and out for work.

In mid November I did more interviewing for Twistys.com, I shot a couple times, and I attended Glamourcon. Thanksgiving wasn’t anything any different than past years. My grandparents hosted dinner and only myself and my aunt and uncle ended up making it. My other uncle went with his wife and kids to her family’s dinner and the rest of my family lives out of state.

On December 9th I went to my friend’s annual White Elephant Xmas party…for those of you not familiar with a White Elephant party, here’s the gist. Everyone that attends brings a gift under $25…it can be something new or used, something you bought or something you already have, an amazing gift or a gag gift. The gift has to be wrapped so no one knows what it is. Then everyone draws numbers…the first person chooses a gift and unwraps it…showing it to everyone. Then the second person can either steal that gift or choose a new one to unwrap. If they steal the gift, then number one gets to choose another one. A gift can only be stolen 3 times (then it gets locked) and cannot be stolen back immediately. Once everyone has a gift, the first person gets to steal any unlocked gift if they want. I always end up with Crate and Barrel gifts (lucky me)…at her party I was the first person to choose…so at the end I stole someone’s Crate and Barrel Martini Glass and Shaker set. And I bet you’re wondering what I gave away as a gift? Porn, of course!

Last week I worked on a new TV show that Playboy TV is developing. I shot for 3 days total for just one of the episodes…should be a really funny TV show. Don’t know if I’m allowed to talk about it so I won’t say much…you’ll just have to watch it when it comes out…which might be a while…definitely sometime mid to late next year. A lot of the cast is from Totally Busted so I’m sure it’ll be something you’ll like to see. So I worked on the show Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then left to New York again on Saturday. I landed Saturday night and then met up with Aria, Holly Randall, and a few other friends of ours. We had dinner and then Aria, Holly, and I went dancing. I stayed in a hotel in Times Square that night and the next day I went to set. The main reason I went to NYC was to shoot for a B Horror film. Not sure if you’re familiar with Frank Henenlotter, but he’s a well known cult horror director with a rather large following. His most known movies are Basketcase and Frankenhooker. Well, he’s now directing a new one and I was asked to be a part of it. I basically get attacked in the shower by the monster…and that’s all I’ll leave it at. Yes I’m nude in it…so I’m sure you’ll all be watching it when it gets released…I’ll keep you in the loop. So I shot on Sunday and that night I stayed with my good friend and photographer, Ellen Stagg. I was going to shoot with her and another photographer the next day, but I had some weird allergic reaction to something…still don’t know what happened, but my eyelids were swollen. I’m fine now, but it prevented me from shooting anymore during my trip. So I spent the night at her place Sunday night and then Monday I headed over to Aria’s apartment. I was going to spend the night there that night before leaving at 4am for the airport (I needed to get on the earliest flight back to LA because of the installing) but I decided to just stay out all night with Justine Joli and some other friends to try to stay on west coast time. Needless to say, I was pretty drunk by 4am and trying to deal with JFK airport in that state wasn’t all that much fun. Not only that, but the cabbie dropped me off at the wrong terminal so I was drunk and trying to find my way around an airport I’m not very familiar with. Anyways, I got checked in and on the plane just fine. And now I’m caught up on my sleep and unaffected by jetlag.

Today I’m just sitting around trying to get as much as I can done withou
t leaving my house or using my other computer. Once they’re done for the day I can leave and run some errands…I have to grocery shop and finish my xmas shopping. Luckily I only have 3 more things to get and I’m done with all of it. Oh, and I have to order a Turkey dinner for Xmas, because I’m hosting my family’s xmas party at my house this year. You all know I’m not about to stuff a raw turkey…EW!!!

See you on the site…

xo
j